Sunday, January 19, 2014

Everything feels so out of Control!!!

Everyday I wake up feeling exhausted…doesn’t matter how much I sleep or don’t sleep(which is more likely)…I just never feel like I’ve slept at all….I know at the moment there is s much going on that it’s really hard t shut my brain down…have been resorting to melatonin just to fall asleep…but you gotta do what ya gotta do…

Surgery is scheduled for the 27th…tomorrow is pre-admin…3hours…really??

Then we wait again…2 weeks to get the results of the tumor and lymph node biopsy’s then another 2/4 weeks to go to the cross cancer for radiation and or chemo…but everything hinges on the results of the biopsy…

Will be holding my breath…am still stress eating…and shaking my head and hating myself every step of the way…so more excuses…cutting the crap tomorrow…!!!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Well...BAD NEWS completely derailed me...

I was doing well for most of October and November...was proud of how I actually handled everything that was thrown my way...

I had my regularly scheduled mammogram...well!!! It did not go as planned...sent me right down for an ultrasound on my right breast...my heart sunk...they found something...



Scheduled for a biopsy a few days later...then the waiting began...wasn't sleeping...we had colds running through the house...we were all battling that...then Christmas put all the labs
behind...so we had to wait until Jan 2/2014 for the results...2 weeks!!! Almost killed me with stress...and my husband was no better...

BUT it gave me time to accept all that was going on...breast cancer runs through my family...going back to my grandmother...that I know of...my Aunts and my mom(twice)...my husband had somehow convinced himself that it was going to be nothing...what a guy...always the the optimist...he always has been...

When we go for the results and Doc says "It's cancer" I nod and my hubby lost it a bit...he got my Doc...that was already upset, even more upset...uuuhhhggg...men...lol

Anyway...now we start the battle ahead...have been for a dyed bonescan, chest x-ray and ultrasound of everything down to my waist to make sure it hasn't spread...then more waiting...

Have I ever told you how much I HATE WAITING!!!